I shake my fist at you sleep!

Dear Life,
I'm having a hard time waking up today. It may not sound like a really bad thing but sleep is actually a pet peeve of mine. There's so much I could accomplish with out it. Yet my body requires at least 6 hours before I'm fully de-zombified. Most days I get the 6 hours but it tends to be broken up. I have to sleep days because I work nights, with the exception of my 2 offnights each week where I actually sleep nights. So pretty much my schedule is already whack. On days where I sleep days I get phone calls, people knocking on the door, outside noise, and insomnia. Why don't I just turn off my phone? Because I have kids in school and need my phone just in case of an emergency with them. Why do I answer the door? Because people are stupid and will just keep knocking if they see your car in the driveway. The best is on Saturdays when the boy's friend Manny wants to play. If you don't answer the door he knocks every 5 seconds and refuses to give up. It doesn't help that my kids will peek out their window to see who it is even though they know they can't go out between 10:30 and 2. Josh leaves at 10:30 and I really need to sleep until 2. Considering I let them play from 2-8 on Saturdays plus the time that Josh is home they get enough play time so you can stop calling me a mean mom :( And their friends know this schedule but apparently most parents don't teach their kids not to be annoying, even if the kid is 10 years old and my kids knew better at 5. On my nights off I wake up at 2:30am, 3am, 5am, 6am, and 7am. Why? Those are my dispatch times at work. I don't know how single mom's do it. Without Josh I would go crazy because he makes it a point to let me nap and on his days off he tries talking me into sleeping. Add to my bad sleeping habits the fact that I have a bad back and wake up to back spasms. Today I just couldn't fall asleep. But no matter what time I go to sleep on the weekdays I have to get up at 2:30 to get the boys from school. So can you see why I hate sleep? Here's more reasons I hate sleep-
If there was no sleep I would:
- Not be so cranky
- Have time to myself
- Have time to get the house clean
- Not drive like a zombie
- Not terrify the town people
- Be more optimistic
- Not bite old ladies
- Find a unicorn
- Prove the answer to life and its many questions is actually 42
- Be a pro kayaker
- Shave a puma
- Be a better mom
- Be a better wife
- Ect. because I love typing ect. Does anyone actually know its Et Cetera? It should be EtC

So here's my idea. We get rid of sleep all together. We'll evolve to love it. Except kids will still need at least 5 hours of sleep just so parents can get some free relaxation time. That's not selfish, it's preventing psychokilling parents from finding their kill side. Work will not be able to change a 40 hour work week from being the norm. We will add a hugging hour to each day because I love hugs. If you don't have kids to keep safe, you are required to play night time hide and seek with your friends for at least an hour and if you don't giggle at least once you get a kick in the pants. And when we all go fight club crazy from lack of sleep we can all be crazy together. You can applaud me for my awesome idea here.
With love from me to you,
The Kwedos
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