The were climbing the walls!

I'm slightly bitter at this moment. I dropped my kids off at "The Lab" which is their elementary youth group. They have these bars on the walls and I've wondered what they are. I found out what they are and now my grrr face is here. They're climbing bars. The kids jump up, grab the bar, run up the wall, and flip off. WHERE WERE THOSE IN MY SUNDAY SCHOOL?!?!?! I want to file a complaint. I had Bible bingo and they get 20 min of play time, 45 min of Church, and then 10 min play time again before the parents come to get them. That way your kids are worn out and ready to relax and babble about what they learned that day. My kids are excited to go and they love to tell me what they learned that night. Where's my mind? It's back at those bars... staring... stewing... bittering... plotting... grrrrrrr. Ok so not plotting and I'm not really that upset, but still, their toys are so much more awesome!!!! *cries and plays with my My Little Pony that did NOTHING*

Japanese girl battles with her baby red pandas

Dear cutest animals in the world,
Why is your cute fluffiness on the other side of the world from me? I just want to cuddle with you until PETA comes and tells me to put the fluffiness down. I don't mind if you punch me in the face while I'm sleeping. I'll even let you eat my food... not my cake, my food. If anyone tries to hurt you I'll kill them with my evil ninja mommy glare. So what do you say? It's a deal? Yay for fluffiness!
Love always,
Not so fluffy but still loveable me

Tim Hawkins-Scary Bedtime Prayer/ I'm a bad parent

This video cracks me up. My parents prayed this with me as a kid and it was more reciting than actually knowing the words. But as I got older I knew what it meant and it seemed like a good prayers so I've been praying it with my kids. They even had a bear that when you squeezed it, it said this prayer and then added "But the angels watch me through the night, until I wake in mornings light." Seems like the bear knew how creepy the original was before I did.
Future prayer:
Dear God-dude,
Thanks for today and yesterday. Please let there be a tomorrow. I'll give you a cookie. If I have to die tonight please take me to Heaven... I'll give you a cookie. But I'd really like it if I could live. K thanx gnight.
Love always,
Me
P.S. I have plans this week. Please don't kill me.
P.P.S. I have cookies.

I would miss my dad

I've been laying in bed not able to sleep... again. NO MORE CEREAL BEFORE BED!
Anyways my never ending thought process keeps going back to the same thing, I don't want to lose my dad.
No I'm not trying to be weird or morbid. At work I have a machine partner named James who lost his dad a little over a year ago. He didn't have a huge relationship with his dad for years prior to death but he still chokes up every time he mentions it. We were talking about parents and how we're getting to an age where we really notice our parents are aging also. I might still be really young in my head but life is telling me 27 is only 3 years away from 30 and that's when you're old. (No offense to you old geezers out there.)  And if I'm old my parents are older and your body doesn't do so well the older it gets.
That thought made me want to cry.
A little bit about mine and my dad's past: My dad was only 18 when his dad died of a heart attack. I never met my grandpa and my dad really didn't talk about him that much but considering his job I'd say he was probably in shape.
I can't remember how old I was but I remember watching tv with my dad and he kept going out to the balcony in his and my mom's room. He was really worried and it was like this heaviness in the room that something was happening. He looked at me and said "My chest really hurts." I know I was pretty young because my response was "Think of something that doesn't hurt and you'll feel better." After my dad saw a cardiologist for the first time and we confirmed that my dad had been having small heart attacks it hit me that I was there. I should have called 911 or something. I know I was little but it was one of those moments where you knew something was really happening because I could remember so many details of that night and you know it's something you should be scared of if you just have that feeling.
When my dad had his angioplasty I didn't really understand what was going on. I figured that I loved my dad so I wouldn't lose him. It never entered my mind that people I love could die. It just doesn't happen. It's like you're the main character of a show and only the little insignificant people die off.
I was a little older when my dad had his bipass surgery. I'm not sure how it happened but his heart was struggling so hard to survive that it actually grew a connection from the front of one of the chambers to the back of the heart. I watched them do a video of his heart on a screen and a doctor explained to me the four chambers of your heart. My dad acted like it was the most exciting stuff in the world and I just wanted the hospital stuff to be done with. I was so arrogant and ignorant and every other stupid name in the book. I just wanted to go home and it didn't hit me till way too late in the game that my dad could have died.
When my dad came out of surgery we were able to see him. Durring a bipass they stop your heart so his skin was pale on the sides but he was covered in iodine on top. My dad held up his hand with the "I love you" sign and my mom started crying and said something about my dad being ok, dont worry Tom you're ok, you're not going anywhere. That's when it hit me first. This is real, this is happening, this is not ok, I'm not the main character of a book, he could have been gone, panic panic PANIC. But I didn't. I just stood there. My only thought was he can go home soon, we can go home, this can be done. And within minutes of thinking about home my panic was gone and I was in my ignorant reality where my dad would live forever.
My dad had a problem due to the surgery that kept him in the hospital for a while. I was so sick of walking through the double doors to get to his room, I hated walking back out of them. It was like jail. I wanted to see my dad. I would think about it all day until we pulled up to the hospital. But I wanted to see hime at home. Not there. You're ok at home, you're sick at the hospital. I hated the nurses so much. I hated the male nurse who had the cutsie designs on his uniform who got excited every time my dad got a new chicken noodle soup cup with a balloon attached saying get well soon. How about get well now? How about a card for me that tells me to wake up, get over myself, and realize life is happening. And how about when we get home instead of serving dinner out of those stupid cups we just smash them?
My mom was not my mom that whole time. It's like part of her had died. It wasn't until I met Josh that I really understood that feeling of if something ever happened to the person I love I would die. There's that connection. And I was such a butt to her even though she was so worried about my dad. The more I think about it the more I just want go back in the past and scream at myself to stop being so selfish and self involved.
But that feeling of knowing that life isn't forever really sunk in when I had kids. Now I'm seeing it from my dad's side. He didn't want to be there. He knew I wanted him home. He knew I didn't understand how final death was. And now I do know. But now I know so much that I almost want to be ignorant again. When I watch my husband or kids sleeping I watch for the rising and falling of the covers to make sure they're still sleeping. If it doesn't rise and fall enough for me to be sure I make a noise to halfway wake them up. Sometimes I just wake Josh up. Some days I'll let Josh or the boys sleep in and I'll think they should be up by now and then I start to worry and then I tell myself not to worry but then I get angry at myself and say if I don't check now and they're dead I'll hate myself forever for not being there.
I don't want life to be final. I don't want people to die and never come back. Every time someone dies someone loses someone they love, even if the person who died is a giant jerkface. I fully believe in Heaven but when I get to Heaven I won't know who my family or friends were. They'll just be faces in Heaven. I want to know them like I know them now and make memories, not remember memories. Death is too final for me.
I wish I would have thought all those times that I could have lost my dad. I wish I could take back every mean word and every action I've ever done to lose his trust. I wish I would have hugged him more as a kid. I wish I would have told him thank you every time he took me to Prescott with him on business. I know I still have time with him but I'm not a kid anymore. I'm married now. He's not the main man in my life. I really took him for granted.
Right now I'm on the phone with him. Halfway through all this I decided to call him and let him know I'm not ignoring him, I'm just homesick. I need to remember that there's going to be a day that I remember all this and I'm going to want to call him and just hear his voice but he won't be there.
I know this is all rambling this morning but I can't get this out of my head.
No more convos with James about parents dieing. I'll deal with it when it happens. Hopefully it wont be for years and years and hundreds of years.
But to anyone out there who's reading this who has lost a parent, I dont know what you're going through because thankfully it hasn't happened to me. But I know what being terrified of it feels like. I'm here for anyone that just wants to talk about how awesome their parents were...
And I'm here to kick some sense into your kids if they're taking you for granted.
I love my mom and dad.
I love my Josh.
I love my kids.
Thank you God so much for the second chances you've blessed me with. I get it now.

Kitchen Intruder Song

A while back there was a joke between my WoW vent friends and me that started because I love food. People would say they were eating something and I would say I was on my way over. Somehow it turned into me creepin into people's windows and stealing their food. So... because my mind doesn't stop... I revamped a song.. just for jooo!
From my mind to your screen, the premier of the kitchen intruder song!

She’s in your frigerator
She’s snatchin' your cupcakes up
tryna eat em so y’all need to
hide yo forks, hide yo knives
hide yo forks, hide yo knives
hide yo forks, hide yo knives
and hide yo spoons yah
cuz she eatin' errything out here

you told her what you havin' fo lunch
She's lookin for you
she gon find you
she gon find you
so you can run and hide that,
run and hide that run and hide that,
grandma grand, grand, grandma

she got yo adress
you done left IP adress and all
you are so dumb
 she gonna eat yo plumb... for real
the lady got away leaving behind dirty plates
my steak was stolen by a fat chick in the projects
so dumb, eat yo plumb, so dumb, so dumb

She’s in your frigerator
She’s snatchin' your cupcakes up
tryna eat em so y’all need to
hide yo forks, hide yo knives
hide yo forks, hide yo knives
hide yo forks, hide yo knives
and hide yo spoons yah
cuz she eatin' errything out here

you told her what you havin' fo lunch
She's lookin for you
she gon find you
she gon find you
so you can run and hide that,
run and hide that run and hide that,
grandma grand, grand grandma






*bows and rolls off stage*

I shake my fist at you sleep!

Dear Life,
I'm having a hard time waking up today. It may not sound like a really bad thing but sleep is actually a pet peeve of mine. There's so much I could accomplish with out it. Yet my body requires at least 6 hours before I'm fully de-zombified. Most days I get the 6 hours but it tends to be broken up. I have to sleep days because I work nights, with the exception of my 2 offnights each week where I actually sleep nights. So pretty much my schedule is already whack. On days where I sleep days I get phone calls, people knocking on the door, outside noise, and insomnia. Why don't I just turn off my phone? Because I have kids in school and need my phone just in case of an emergency with them. Why do I answer the door? Because people are stupid and will just keep knocking if they see your car in the driveway. The best is on Saturdays when the boy's friend Manny wants to play. If you don't answer the door he knocks every 5 seconds and refuses to give up. It doesn't help that my kids will peek out their window to see who it is even though they know they can't go out between 10:30 and 2. Josh leaves at 10:30 and I really need to sleep until 2. Considering I let them play from 2-8 on Saturdays plus the time that Josh is home they get enough play time so you can stop calling me a mean mom :( And their friends know this schedule but apparently most parents don't teach their kids not to be annoying, even if the kid is 10 years old and my kids knew better at 5. On my nights off I wake up at 2:30am, 3am, 5am, 6am, and 7am. Why? Those are my dispatch times at work. I don't know how single mom's do it. Without Josh I would go crazy because he makes it a point to let me nap and on his days off he tries talking me into sleeping. Add to my bad sleeping habits the fact that I have a bad back and wake up to back spasms. Today I just couldn't fall asleep. But no matter what time I go to sleep on the weekdays I have to get up at 2:30 to get the boys from school. So can you see why I hate sleep? Here's more reasons I hate sleep-
If there was no sleep I would:
- Not be so cranky
- Have time to myself
- Have time to get the house clean
- Not drive like a zombie
- Not terrify the town people
- Be more optimistic
- Not bite old ladies
- Find a unicorn
- Prove the answer to life and its many questions is actually 42
- Be a pro kayaker
- Shave a puma
- Be a better mom
- Be a better wife
- Ect. because I love typing ect. Does anyone actually know its Et Cetera? It should be EtC

So here's my idea. We get rid of sleep all together. We'll evolve to love it. Except kids will still need at least 5 hours of sleep just so parents can get some free relaxation time. That's not selfish, it's preventing psychokilling parents from finding their kill side. Work will not be able to change a 40 hour work week from being the norm. We will add a hugging hour to each day because I love hugs. If you don't have kids to keep safe, you are required to play night time hide and seek with your friends for at least an hour and if you don't giggle at least once you get a kick in the pants. And when we all go fight club crazy from lack of sleep we can all be crazy together. You can applaud me for my awesome idea here.
With love from me to you,
The Kwedos
-

5T25K

5T25K is an idea I came up with a while ago when I first thought I was going to do a 5k. I didn't want to do it on my own so I thought if I got a group together with the same idea that we'd stick together. It didn't happen. The group didn't even happen. You can't rely on people for motivation unless you show them why you want to be motivated.
I've been a part of a group called sparkpeople for a few years. It's facebook for fat people where we all get together and talk about how our fat is our prison. Then we pat each other on the back, say you can do it, and hope it works. That's how us fat people roll. Why do we need a support group? Because whether the world wants to see it as one or not, food has become an addiction. It's like drugs or alcohol or smoking, except you HAVE to eat, so it's the biggest bitch of all addictions. Add to it the fact that it's a self defeating addiction. The only way to get rid of it is to eat less, eat better, and exercise more. While that may sound easy it's really not. So this is going to have be an "You're not fat you wouldn't understand" group. I usually try to stay away from those things but I really don't want the comments from ignorant skinny people, no offense ignorant skinny people... I hate you all. :) I really do. :)
So my idea for 5t25k is to put myself out there. Weekly I'll do a video that includes me saying what I've been doing that week to lose weight, put some exercise ideas out there, and pretty much have an online video journal of me becoming an ignorant skinny person. Hopefully this will motivate others to lose the weight too. 5t25k means Five tons to five kilometers. That says I want to make a chain of motivation that will directly affect 10,000 pounds of weight loss. It will be that thing in my life that I can look back and say I made my mark. Along with the videos I'll post my daily thoughts and ideas, recipes, and let people follow me from 300 lbs (yes I'm 300 lbs) down to 150. When I get to 150 I'll pass the torch onto someone else and stay for support to people who don't think it can be done... while I wear a freakin awesome outfit that only a skinny person can wear. In public I'll be wearing my 5t25k tshirts at least once a week to kind of get the idea going, I'll pull together groups to do 5k's or walk or do something healthy together, and hopefully I'll reach other people in other states to get groups together also. I want to lead the group because I know with my personality I won't let a group down. At least I'm praying I won't let them down.
I'm pretty sure I can do this. I've even started on the shirts.
5t25k won't be part of this blog. It's actually going to be a completely different blog and eventually turn into it's own page with a forum. I plan on getting the first video done by Wednesday.
The reason I've posted this here on this blog is because I need ideas. If anyone has ideas I'd love to hear them. I'd also like to get the word out.
So here's where you pat me on the back and tell me I can do this... pat my back.... now.... DO IT NOW!